Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Below are some of the most frequently asked questions that a birth mother may have. There are many other questions not addressed on this list that will be answered as you read the information on this website and the other websites we have suggested you visit.

How do I find out whether or not I am pregnant?

Whether your pregnancy has been planned or is an unplanned pregnancy, one of the first issues to address is to confirm the pregnancy by taking a pregnancy test. You can confirm the pregnancy by using one of the many home pregnancy tests or by going to your physician or midwives office.

What are the early signs of being pregnant?

Signs of pregnancy are not the same for every woman. In fact, your own symptoms may actually be different from one pregnancy to another. Early pregnancy symptoms can also vary in their intensity, frequency and duration. Some of the early symptoms generally include a missed period, breast and nipple tenderness, swollen breasts, morning sickness and nausea, fatigue, mood swings and irritability. 

Should I get prenatal care or wait until I go to the hospital?

Approximately 4 million U.S. women give birth every year and about one third of them will have some kind of complication. Babies born to mothers who received no prenatal care are three times more likely to be born at low birth weight, and five times more likely to die, than those whose mothers received prenatal care. These statistics are not meant to alarm you, but rather to convey the importance of starting prenatal care as early as possible. Visit the links  prenatal care, prenatal care and pregnancy and prenatal testing and ultrasounds for additional information.

Can you help me understand words related to pregnancy?

Should I change my diet change now that I am pregnant?

To eat well during pregnancy you must do more than simply increase how much you eat. You must also consider what you eat. To get enough nutrients, pregnant women should take a multivitamin or prenatal vitamin and eat healthy foods from the four basic food groups everyday.  See birth mother nutrition as well as vitamins and minerals that are vital and eating and nutrition for additional information.

Are there support groups I can talk with during pregnancy?

Finding a support group in your local area can be very difficult and most of the support groups are internet based.  Visit the link pregnancy support groups for help.

What "typical" problems I can expect during pregnancy?

Typical problems include sleep problems, the gaining of weight, other body changes, nausea and morning sickness, and constipation and heartburn. Other common problems include depression, fatigue and mood swings as well as back pain, and bladder issues. For additional information please visit the pregnancy concerns and pregnancy issues links.

Where can I find medical / financial help during pregnancy?

There are financial aid, medical help and other programs available for women who need assistance. State and local health departments, community free clinics, and other organizations offer medical care. There is also the special government program for women, infants, and children called WIC. You can also find information at birth mother financial assistance and birth mother medical help and assistance

Is it best to deliver in a hospital or a birthing center?

There is not a "best" that fits everyone.  You should look into both. The link selecting a hospital will help you. For additional information about pregnancy, labor, and birth, visit PregnancyandChildren.com.

How common is depression during and after pregnancy?

Depression is a serious illness that interferes with work, study, sleep, eating and enjoying oneself. It may appear once in a person’s life, but more often occurs several times. Depression that occurs during pregnancy or within a year after delivery is called perinatal depression. Depression after pregnancy is called postpartum depression or peripartum depression. The exact number of women with depression is unknown, but it is believed that depression is one of the most common complications during and after pregnancy.

What is "labor"?

Labor is the process by which contractions of a pregnant uterus cause birth. How long it lasts and how it progresses differs from woman to woman and from birth to birth. In order to know the differences between "false labor" and "true labor", visit the labor and birth and inducing labor and episiotomy links.

Should I have a Cesarean section (C-section)?

Most pregnant women have their babies vaginally. Still, the rate of babies born by cesarean section (C-section) in the United States is on the rise. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 3 babies in the United States is delivered by cesarean section. Many experts think that up to half of all C-sections are unnecessary. Please see the C-section link for additional information.

I am a single parent and am raising my child myself.  Is help available to me?

Parenting is indeed a challenge. There are many U.S. government agencies and state government programs offering a range of benefits and services. You can also check out parenting support groups, information on child health, and resources on normal child development.

What options do I have rather than raising the baby myself?

You have several choices. You can consider placing your child in foster care, placing with a family member, or placing your child for adoption with a non-related loving family.

What are the different kinds of adoption?

There are several different kinds of adoptions. The primary distinctions are between private or agency adoptions and open or closed adoptions.  Other kinds of adoption are intrastate and interstate adoption. The distinctions among these types of adoption are very important since each type of adoption requires a different set of legal requirements.

What is the difference between an open adoption and a closed adoption?

Most birth parents and adopting families are confused about open and closed adoptions. Simply stated, an open adoption is when the family knows your last name, address, and phone number, and you know this information about the family. A closed adoption is when that identifying information is not exchanged. It has nothing to do with whether you get pictures, meet the family, get updates, or see the family on an ongoing basis.

How can I find out more about the adoption process?

There are many sources to help.  You can look under Adoption Services in your yellow pages or on the internet.  You can also review the material on one of the other websites created specifically to help you, such as AdoptionServices.org and BirthMotherAssistance and ChildAdoptionLaws, or you can contact Dr. Berger, the developer of this website, by email or call him toll free at1 800 943 0400.

Is adoption permanent or can I get my child back?

Adoption is the legal process of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth mother or birth father. Adoption results in the ending of the parental rights and responsibilities of the biological parents and the placing of those responsibilities and rights onto the adoptive parents. After the  ending of parental rights and the finalization of an adoption, a birth mother or birth father can not get the child back. For additional information, please review the adoption overview and Adoption Services links.

If I decide to place my baby for adoption where do I start?

The safest and best way to get started is to contact a non-profit, fully licensed adoption agency to help you. I advise you not to answer newspaper ads, adopting family internet ads or the adopting family's attorney. These are all called a private adoption and these can be very risky. So risky that in many states, private adoptions are not legal. Whether it is our agency or you select some other program, the agency can help you and protect you and your child. You'll still be in charge, but the agency can help you avoid the problems you can face by participating in a private adoption.

Where can I find the laws that will affect an adoption?

You can contact an attorney that practices adoption or family law. You can also read about the adoption laws and educate yourself at the website Child Adoption Laws.  You might also want to read birth mother legal issues and birth father legal issues.

How can I make sure the family is the best family for my child?

Choosing to place your baby for adoption is a very difficult decision. In order to make sure the family is the type you want and to help assure a safe environment for your baby, the family needs to be carefully screened and evaluated. The best and most careful and objective assessment is done by a non-profit licensed adoption agency that has the child's interests at heart. We strongly advise you to take the advise of adoption experts and the U.S. government and avoid an adoption facilitator.

How can I find the child I placed for adoption?

You may or may not be able to find the child.  The best place to start is with the papers you signed at the time of placement and the ending of your rights.  Using these papers, or what you remember, you should contact the attorney or agency that was the intermediary in the adoption.  You can also contact the county court system that was involved in the ending of your parental rights.  Additionally, many states have an adoption registry that may be the answer for you.  Another way is to use the yellow pages or internet to contact a private investigator or private search group to conduct an "adoption search".